{This is a post from last year, but it's timely. And, since I still struggle with this, I thought I should repost it.}
So, I know it's the middle of July and Mother's Day was officially months ago. But, I've been on a bit of a journey between then and now, and there's something I want to share.
When May comes around, I see all of the sweet commercials showing how husbands and children surprise mom with a wonderful gift of appreciation. In the grocery stores, there's an abundance of roses, balloons, and candy, just perfect for mom. The card aisle becomes devoted to mom, making her cry tears of joy because of the love her family has for her.
As a result, I begin to wonder: what will my Husband get me? Will my children create something sweet? Have they all planned some big surprise? Is it a fresh-cut bouquet of my favorite flowers? Dinner out to some fancy restaurant? Maybe it's going to be a fabulous breakfast in bed? What about one of those necklaces--you know the ones with the gemstones representing each one of my children? What will it be?!?!
Horrible, I know, but I think you get the picture. . .I probably could go on and on. In our society, we are saturated with this message: "Because I am a mother, I am supposed to receive special recognition by way of material things. Things, things, these things are what should bring me honor. . ." And there I sit, glued to commercials, flipping through magazines, embracing a message that not only do I deserve these things, I should also drop "hints" all over the place on the best ways to honor me.
Mmmm. . . .let's go to the Word. . .
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:27-30
If you are familiar with the "Proverbs 31 Woman," then you know there are many wonderful, noble, and excellent things that she does for her household. The way she manages her time and makes provisions with what she has; how she cares for her household; and the way she brings honor to her husband, all to the glory of God. With all that she does to care for her home and those she loves, not once does this passage mention that she deserves to be rewarded with gifts and material things to reflect her worth.
How is this beautiful woman, the very epitome of Biblical womanhood, just how is she "rewarded"?
With the fruit of praise from the lips of her husband and children.
They simply tell her what she's worth . . .
In the days and weeks after Mother's Day, the Holy Spirit really impressed this upon my heart. In talking with my Husband about it, his thoughts were that he can honor me at any time as wife and mother, so why the pressure to do it only one day out of the year, in a certain way, with certain "things" and unspoken expectations?
So, I walk away thinking, Lord, when does my family honor me? What are their words of praise? When do they tell me what I'm worth to them? All the while I'm asking these questions, still holding on to the societal expectation of things, because things mean I'm a good mother, right? Isn't what I do year-round supposed to be summed up and reflected on Mother's day, by way of all the things I get?
The Holy Spirit urges me: stay in My Word, continue to care for your family and home, serve Me when you serve them, and most importantly pay attention--don't be dismissive. I'm like, pay attention? What am I missing? So, I've tried to quiet myself as I go about my days, still wondering and trying to pay closer attention. . .
I begin to notice things, that really aren't out of the ordinary, but shed so much light: My son randomly says, Mommy, can I give you a kiss? I love you! My daughter tells me, Mommy I just want to hang around you today. My oldest daughter watches me as I do the laundry and asks me to write down some tips so she can wash clothes the way I do. My husband says, babe, dinner was good, what did you put in it . . . Mom, we love you. . . Stacie, thanks for making that appointment for me. . .Mommy is like our nurse, she always makes us feel better when we're sick . . .Honey, I'm glad you've been working with the kids on "this and that". . .
These words, these little tidbits here and there. . . it is the praise of their lips!! They honor me more than I've given them credit for. . .they've already told me and continue to tell me what I am worth to them. Just pay attention, Stacie!
I am humbled, and also horrified at how I dismissed their words, their awesome, precious praise, in exchange for wanting things. . .things that don't measure up to their expressions of what I am worth, their love and appreciation for me. May God forgive me.
It has certainly been a journey. And though my flesh may still struggle, I am over joyed at the possibilities that come from a new way to think about my worth as a mom and wife. Their unprompted, un-asked for, non-hint dropping, precious praise is what I must treasure in my heart.
My family is teaching me that any day (or moment) can be Mother's Day.
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